Australia has pledged to protect its citizens from any future global blackouts by making pirated copies of the Windows XP GOAT operating system available to all citizens and businesses.
Many high-level government departments are already using XP because, in the words of senior officials, “why try to improve on perfection?” Adding:
“Windows 11 is a pile of stolen crap! We’ve been flying the XP flag for years and that’s not going to change any time soon. Why do we need apps on a desktop anyway? I think I speak for all of Australia when I say we’ve had a ton of useless apps!”
As a result, services running the best version of Windows were not affected by the global outage caused by a software update from cybersecurity firm CrowdStrike.
An Australian government spokesperson told the Times:
“XP doesn’t play well with Microsoft 365 apps and since our version is not supported, the upgrade wasn’t a failure. Once again, Windows XP does amazing things.”
Australians will be contacted in the coming days with an email containing a Windows XP .exe patch file which they should open immediately.
We asked the government what else we could do to secure our computers. They told us:
“Just keep the expired version of McAfee installed on your computer 8 years ago”
Sound advice.