Imagine meeting the love of your life and then realizing he’s texting you with green bubbles instead of iMessage.
This is what happens to couples where one (correct) person has an iPhone and the other (idiot) person insists on having an Android. That’s where it comes in: a mixed phone relationship.
It is actually the modern version of Romeo and Juliet (except no one dies, you’re just annoyed with the other person for not “making the change”.)
Watch: Excuses for not going out. Continued below.
As someone who found themselves married to an Android user, let me tell you: this is not for the faint of heart. If you have lived a blessed life and have not had to deal with these ridiculous and never-ending difficulties, let me explain:
You have to communicate via Facebook Messenger like it’s 2012.
All the pictures they send you are tiny.
They can’t use FaceTime (you also have to use Facebook Messenger or Whatsapp for that).
Ohhhhh and you will be convinced that your partner is earning a commission from Samsung because he. Won’t. Shut. Up. About. This.
“The Android camera is superior.”
“I never need to charge my phone at the end of the day, the battery is so good.”
“Have you seen the new Samsung phone model?”
“Apple should have an entire store to help people with their phone problems. Do you see Samsung stores? No, because it’s a superior product.”
And don’t even get me started on the different chargers. When Apple announced it was switching to USB-C (the same one Samsung uses), my partner could have won an Olympic gold medal and thought “I told you so” for ages.
If I disappeared, the police checking my phone would think I was in a loveless marriage because the only messages we send each other are the occasional shopping list for when the other goes to Woolies. (Yes, I watch too many true crime stories to have had that thought process, but let’s move on.)
A quick survey on the Mama Mia The Office revealed that I’m definitely not the only one who hates being in a mixed-sex phone relationship.
“I did it once, I’ll never do it again,” a colleague told me.
“I just checked and my last message to my partner was in May 2023,” another said.
Another one even went as far as to say that it was a red flag and that she would immediately cut ties if she dated a Samsung guy (I think she was joking, but she’s right).
I don’t tell you not to date someone who has the opposite phone. But be prepared, because being in a mixed phone relationship is a lot like having a long-distance relationship: it might work for a while, but eventually someone has to break down and make the switch.
Because that green text bubble is enough to disgust anyone.
Do you and your partner have different phones? Let us know in the comments below.
Main image: Canva.
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